A Last

I've decided this blog's time has come. 

So if you want to read any future posts from me, follow me on: http://raudier.tumblr.com/

A hello from Sydney! 
It's been a really amazing couple of days! Never been anywhere with just the little sister before. Never stayed at a hotel alone before. A lot of firsts. But good firsts! It was sunny the first day here, rained all day yesterday. Today's a bit gloomier, but it's pretty none the less. I'm currently staying at the Manly Paradise Beachfront Motel & Apartments which is literally across the road from the beach! The waves are sensational! Of course it's too cold to go anywhere near the water. But there are surfer boys doing what they do best, regardless of the cold: surfing and being eye-candy for girls like me :)

The View from my Room

Went yesterday to get a few things for Ramizah's room. A printer, some shoes, and all the things that I brought for her from Melbourne. To get to the city and back, you have to go on a ferry. I call it the Ferry Ride of Death. It's fine until you get to the swells and then you literally feel like your heart is going to pop out of your chest. It's not scary, but everytime the ferry goes over a swell, you get these butterflies. I clutched on to Ramizah with her laughing at me during the swell-y time. 

Dinner last night with Ramizah's friends. All very friendly. Have the tick of big sister approval! She's off at uni now. I'm sitting in my room, attempting to get some work done. Went for a walk this morning and took more pictures. Clearly, work is not progressing as much as I'd like it to. But I will not give up! The plan is to get more work done before Ramizah comes down for dinner and chilling. Because l's be real here, once that happens, the chances of any work getting done is unbelievably slim. 

On the Ferry Ride of Death. 

Back to Melbourne tomorrow! 

Yes I realise it has been almost a month since I last updated. But that's how busy I've been. Assignments have ruled my life for the past 3 weeks. But as of Monday this week, I am assignment-free! And it seems that my entire BND class has decided to use this week to do nothing and celebrate the end of the craziness. 

I thought I would too, until I realised I have so many other things going on from now until exams that I can't afford a whole week off. But I am going karaoke-ing with them tomorrow! Or rather I will be the photographer as they all sing their hearts out. Pictures of people singing is always funny. 

In other news, I'm going to Sydney on Saturday!! WOOTS! To see the little sister. Ensure that she is alright, help her buy a few more uni things and to chill! I already went to today to buy the Korean noodles she's asked me for. Baby sister being a baby sister. Once in awhile they need to feel pampered by their older siblings. This is one of those times. 

Okay, back to studying! Will update again when procrastination kicks in. 

Finally, PHN is over. And you'd think I'd go home and celebrate. No no no. 
This is how it all went down. 


Went to the library the day before it was due, stayed there till about 7pm. Went home, had dinner. Ate in literally 10 mins. Continued to do assignment. 5am - finally went to bed. Yeah, I know. My plan to finish it by midnight failed epicly. 


Got up the next day at 7am, accompanied a friend to uni. It was his first time so didn't want him to get lost. Went to watch some 4th year major case presentation to get an idea of what next year brings and simultaneously scare myself about how much information I need to know in less than a year. 


Went with the girls to Footscray for our cooking class. Barely survived through that. Went to have a coffee with one of the girls in the city after. Went home. Had dinner. Sat in front of TV. Fell asleep on Mich's chair. Woke up. Washed plate. Went to room to talk to Aisha, fell asleep at 10pm. Shocking. Parents called at 11, no idea what I said or what they said. Replacement call morning after. 


And you'd think, you'd think, after all that, I could breathe a little. You're wrong! Another due in a couple of days, 2 due next week. 3 reflections due at the end of may and a huge one due on the 31st. Then...exams on the 21st. 


Dubai, you'll never know how much I want to get to you. 
I hope everyone else's May goes better. 

DIE PHN DIE! 
Stupid ass assignment for Public Health Nutrition has taken over my life. The past few days I've woken up in the middle of the night several times panicking. Literally. I would wake up experiencing what seems to be a combination of panic and anxiety attacks! And when I'd be falling asleep or half asleep, that's all that I can think and then my brain refuses to sleep. 


STOOOOOPID ASSIGNMENT! It's unreal how much research and work needs to be done for this thing. 
Who would have ever thought that inanimate objects could take such control and exert such fear and panic into us. That we are willing to stress, do copious amounts of work and sacrifice sleep for a piece of paper with a grade on it. 


IT SHALL BE FINISHED TODAY! I refuse to do it past midnight tonight! REFUSE! 


Okay. Back to it then *sigh*

Yesterday in an effort to finish up one of the largest assignments I have ever had, I stayed back at the library after class until the boys were finished with their football training. I was exhausted, my head was hurting, I was hungry, I was drenched from the rain, freezing my ass off and truly believed nothing could happen to make my day better. And just as I was about to rip apart my laptop, I remembered that someone had their TV interview the night before. So I went to the TV channel's facebook page to read about the interview.


When I got to the page, there was an update about the show. It wasn't complete so I followed the link to finish reading about the experience that I so badly wanted to be there for. When the page opened, I literally jumped in my chair and have never in my life tried so hard not to squeal. I didn't think it would be appropriate to be squealing and jumping around in a library. Want to know why?


Because when the page opened, not only was the end of the article there. But there was a video of the show!!!!
Imagine my excitement! My heart skipped a beat! It literally made my day. I was so upset that all my friends in Dubai went together to watch the showing and to be able to watch it now, to be able to watch his first time interviewed on TV. Interviewed about something he's worked so hard for and so passionate about. The level of happiness I felt at that moment was indescribable!


For all of the video, I sat at the cubicle smiling deliriously, looking like a complete fool and truly thankful for the walls of the cubicle protecting me from the other people in the library. I couldn't scream or laugh or call people and share the excitement! So instead, I went online and virtual screamed to him.


I'm so proud of you.You've sacrificed so much for this. I know this more than anyone. I know the stress you've been under. I know how much you've worked for this. This is the first of many many times that you can prove those people wrong. Those people who didn't believe in you. People who should have stood by you and instead turned the other way.


So to you, CONGRATULATIONS! I can't wait to get back and re-celebrate with you! I'm so proud of you babe.

Trust. To have faith in others and to believe them. 


That's what wikipedia defines. Such a simple word, such a simple meaning. What it doesn't tell you about are all the other things that go along with the word trust. It's really not a simple thing to do. It needs to be earned. It needs to be maintained. It can be broken with one small action. Of course there are different levels of trust but the minute you say you trust someone, you've created a bond. Of course, there are different levels of trust. But you expect certain things from that person regardless.


You expect them to have your back, you expect them to keep secret things that you tell them, you expect them to be there for you, you expect them to tell you things upfront, you expect them to be more than just an acquaintance. You believe the words they tell you. The promises. With some people, you can easily say you put your life in their hands. You know that no matter what, they will stick to their word. That's what trust is. 


Seems simple enough right? Sure. When you first trust someone, it may come easy. It may be something that just comes naturally. But the minute they screw that up, the minute they decide that bond is not as important as it used to be, the minute they forget what it means, that's when everything turns messy. All the definitions in the world don't tell you about the emotional baggage one carries to 'trust'. The hurt, the betrayal, the disappointment. No one ever mentions that. And yet, that's all you can think about, all you can feel. 


And once that bond has been broken once, it take so much work and so much time to get it back. A lot of the time, you can never trust that person fully. Ever again. So don't screw it up. Don't give that bond an opportunity to fall apart. 

Back from Brisbane and as brown as ever! Yeah I realise I've probably said that a million times over already, but I'm so happy. 6 days of tanning, no burning and a beautiful olive brown! I LOVE QUEENSLAND! 
We did so much travelling though. To which I owe Garnet the world. Late nights, really early mornings! But naps on the beach of course helped heaps! It was so sunny the whole time I was there. Rained the very last day, I took it as a goodbye from Brissy. We met some wonderful people during our trip and I met Garni's amazing friends. So friendly and just make you as comfortable as if they'd known you for years! And kudos to Dan for his famous curry dip! 
Back to uni. Not super happy about it. But oh well. Part and parcel of life isn't it. 

Before & after - glazed like turkeys and proud of it!

I've told myself for weeks now that I MUST remember to turn back my phone and my room clock back an hour the day I go to Brisbane, because that's when daylight savings ends and we gain an hour. Which means that I would've gotten an extra hour to sleep. 


But somehow, in my exhausted state yesterday, all that went out the window. And here I am, 5:20am in the morning, dressed and ready to go...and still have another hour before having to leave for the airport. Ridiculous! 
I'm mostly annoyed because an extra hour would have helped A LOT. Especially since I haven't been sleeping well. 


Will just have to sleep on the plane and in the bus on the way to the airport. 


Upside? In about 5 hours, I will be in Brisbane with Garnet!!! So exciteddd! Pictures galore. 

1 day until presentation. 3 days until Easter break. 6 days until Brisbaneee!!! So excited!

Finally, after living [excluding Dubai] in the same country for close to 4 years, I'm going to see Garnet in Brisbane! When we first went off to uni, we were so excited that we would be in the same country, we were going to visit each other all the time. Every break! Yeah..that didn't happen. We both had our different lives I guess. But I think over the last winter break, we became so much closer and we've been so good at keeping in touch. Weekly calls, msn chats, skype. And NOW, a holiday!! 

It took sooo much to plan this one week trip. We realised what douches rentals places could be. We realised that our planning skills are quite amazing. And we realised, msn chats are much better than phone calls..when planning trips which require a lot of talking and credit time :P

But now finally, the time has come! and in 6 days I shall be with Garni travelling, gossiping, embarking on many adventures and hopefully getting tanned [please please let the sun be out! just for the week!]

Now I need to prepare for my presentation tomorrow. The first of many to come this semester. Joy. 

Early morning wake up tomorrow. Hope it'll happen. 

Oh! And Turkish dinner tomorrow with my ethnic group people! WOOTs. 

So the cooking class went quite smoothly. I only sliced my hand a couple of times but neither deep enough to draw blood. Thank God. We did all the different kinds of cuts and how to sharpen knives. I can proudly say that I am now an expert at sharpening knives with a steel rod. Just like the masterchefs *beams*. Thankfully, everyone was either too excited or really wanted to go home to take any pictures. However, my mum keeps asking for pictures. So I got back to my aunts and took a couple. Those of you who read this are lucky enough to see these pictures, for they will never go on facebook :)

Very Glamorous, I know.

Also, last night, Munster 2.0 had its housewarming. Em, Jace, Dee, Eunice & I went over for a couple of hours (so lovely to catch up with everyone! We must do it always!) So different without P and Jovan though. But the food was YUM [kudos to Yihaur for his awesome BBQ-ing skills & to Quinn for yummy avacado salad!] and the weather was perfect and the view was ORGASMIC. Their house has this amazing feature, their massive window in the living room, which goes from ceiling to floor completely opens up to the balcony. LOVE LOVE LOVE. Only a couple of pics because I was really not bothered.

Dee & Yihaur looking very happy

Me, Eunice, Em & Jace

Tomorrow, we have our first cooking class at Victoria Uni as part of our course. It's quite exciting. Proper huge kitchen and everything. We even have to wear the full chef's uniform. Hat, scarf and all. We're all going to look so glamorous. Hopefully pictures dont go flying all over Facebook. 
Must get to sleep now. Fear of sleeping in. Not finding the class. Not enough time to change. EEK. 
Nite all :)

All New Things

I've wanted to change the look of the blog for awhile now. And yesterday, I DID IT! :)

The only reason it took so long is simply that I am completely clueless about these things [Emily can totally confirm that]. So yesterday while adding the LuShae Jewellery badge, I decided might as well. The pink was getting on my nerves. And I found this one with the Gerbera on it. LOVEEEE Gerberas! PERFECTION.

So to continue with new things:

Uni has begun. Classes have been quite interesting. Putting future career into much more perspective. Starting to do more application. Yesterday in my last class, I thought back to my first year and how boring every single one of the classes were. How it would take so much effort to stay awake. But now, its just so interesting. We do more class activities, which probably helps with the no sleeping.

Along with all that, I've started to experience some REALLY strange dreams. Not just 'hmm, what was that?' kinda dreams. But full on, WHAT THE HELL?! Of the few people I've told, they have laughed, asked me to get out of their bed and basically now think I'm crazy. The most recent happened last night. I had a dream, I started to analyse the dream WHILE still dreaming (?!@!?!@ right?!) and then woke up because my brain probably realised something wasn't right. It was 6:30am and I couldn't fall back asleep. It was hilarious!

So, here's to more new things happening this year. Hopefully, a little more normal than the dreams. But nothing to normal, where's the excitement there? :)

I miss this weather. The blue sky, the sun.

Been back in Melbourne for a few days now. The jetlag is not wearing off. Not one bit. So I'm asleep when everyone is awake and I'm awake at the weirdest hours of the night. The weather has been quite good. A little gloomy but the temperature has been realllyyyy good. Well below 30. And there's wind and everything. I realise in a couple of months I'll be complaining about how my fingers and toes are falling off :P

Uni officially starts tomorrow. But not for me!!! I start on Tuesday. And yes, it sounds like such a petty thing to be excited about, but I've never NEVER had a day off in all my years at uni. So I will be as excited as heck to have Mondays off.

Housemates all arrive back tomorrow afternoon, so I'll move back in then. Moving back in all alone would have been depressing. So excited to see them again. Must definitely take a heck of a lot more housematey pictures.

Alright, off to make a little snack & fresh juice

So it's almost 5am here in Singapore. Can't sleep because jetlag is taking its toll. But that alright, if I'm super tired tomorrow I can fall asleep on the plane. Hopefully not at the hairdressers beforehand tho. Disaster.

Didn't blog at all my entire time in Dubai. But thats a good sign. Was having a brilliant time. Also means this one's going to be a long one. Really got close to some new people and closer to old friends. Ate so much food I reckon I'm set for the year. Hurt like hell to leave all the people and the family of course. Time does not make it easier to leave home. It hurts just the same every single time. Obviously not the bawling baby I was the very first trip away, but still. Always keep reminding myself that it makes me a stronger person, insha'Allah.

Anyway... really excited for a certain someone and what the future holds!!! Boy, I want full updates no matter what happens! Don't leave me squirming in my chair for too long! Praying that everyone has an amazing year and many many more to come. And that you guys take care of yourselves and each other until I'm back :)

I really appreciated the 3 people I spent the most time with outside of the family in my last 2 weeks. They have the most beautiful souls in the world. So happy, caring, honest & most of all, loving. They really made my holiday as complete as it could have ever been. Constantly there for me regardless of the time that I've known them...years, weeks. I miss you guys more than you can ever imagine. I'm so grateful that I got to spend all that time with you guys. Can't wait till I see ya'll again!!!

The family was amazing, as usual. No one could replace them and the love they have for us in their hearts. Never ever underestimate the importance of family. Cherish it with every fibre of your being. Cry when you need to, laugh whenever you can, talk things out, scream things out. Whatever it is, they're always there for you. They love you AND your flaws. Parents do everything and anything for their children. We are who they think of first when they make any decisions, when they wake up in the morning, when they eat dinner. We're always on their minds. Do we treat them with the same special treatment? Do we always act so selflessly? Thank you Ayah & Ibu for everything you've ever done for us. For sacrificing so much for us. Never in my life would we ever trade you for anyone else. You've raised us to be amazing children. We love you unconditionally and would do anything for you. We'll be there for you no matter what you decide because it's about time we start sacrificing for you.

With a day left before flying to Melbourne, I get a little nauseous inside every time I think about going back to my life there. I love my friends, uni, my apartment, but nothing could ever be better than being at home with family. Being all alone at home feels so different to being all alone at home in Melbourne. A different kind of loneliness sets in. A different silence. One that makes you ache. But I went there to study and experience as many things as possible, and by God, that's what I'm going to do.