Thursday, May 29, 2008

For Salim...

On the 23rd May 2008, the world lost a loved young boy, Salim E.l.
I only met him a few times during my winter back in Dubai through mutual friends, but he was this sweet and happy boy. He was always smiling I remember. I also noticed that he was very close to his sister, Nadia and to some of the friends that we both knew.
From all that I've read, Salim has made a mark in this world and in the hearts of all those he left behind. They will never forget you Salim.
For Nadia & her family: All I can say is to be strong. Insha'allah, time will heal. We are all praying for you in this time of pain. You are all surrounded by people who love you and loved Salim, and I know that they are there for you if you need them. Reach out to them and allow them to comfort you.
Nadia, you are one strong girl, and I know that you can get through this. And like you've already told me, he's in a safe place now, no one can harm him. He'll be looking down at you and protecting you. He's always going to be there with you, no matter what.

Salim, rest in peace. Allah Yar7amik.
(L) 12th February 1993 - 23rd May 2008 (L)

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Study wars

So it's that time of the semester again...exams!

Everyone just about 2 weeks away from the first final, and are officially freaking out. Some more so than others, but my theory is the rest of them just hide it better. Inside...they're probably close to shitting themselves. And that thought is what keeps me happy :D

Ems and i have started our daily marathon at the library. The past few days we've gone at about 10am, slaved through the day and head home to feed ourselves and rest at round 8pm. Every couple of hours we'd take a little break to go to the bathroom or to nourish-ify ourselves. Our second day, Nikhil and Indar joined as well. And we realised that we hadn't studied like that for a long time. It was strangely comforting. We were also joined by two new study mates: Yihaur & Ying Hoe.

The plan is to do this everyday till exams are over. Hopefully that'll all follow through.

Study as hard as we may, but sometimes too much can make you go a little mad.....

Emily snacking on a mix-breed snake

Indar studying hard...

And then boredom/too-much-info-in-brain-syndrome sets in

Saturday, May 17, 2008

A small gesture goes a long way

Emily asked me to go on DC...she said she had something on there for me.
So on I went.. and there i found a file - "Raudhah's New Bible".
I downloaded it, and found that it was a collection of aobut 30 songs.
Emily demanded i listen to the songs in the order she'd put them.
I was abit confused in the beginning...
Ems explained that it was to help me start the process of healing.

This is why I love her. It meant so much to me that she spent time and effort to make me feel better. She probably doesnt know how much it means to me! Unable to describe in words.

So ems, thank you sooo much! For this and for helping me that Wednesday night. I love you to bits!!


Friday Night Out

I realise that the past few posts are all done on the same day, but I needed to get things out of my system. I'd decided after the events of the week that I needed to go and blow off some steam. Emily agreed. So last night the plan was put into place.

We had already booked tickets to watch A Clockwork Orange - performed by our own uni students. So Alya, Jenny, Ems & I headed down. Overall, they pulled it off quite well...the realistic puking, the actors ability to choke and cough for a good hour without actually spewing, and the cute guys that were in the play (admired by Jenny & I - Ems had her eye on hat-man).

The second part of the night was saved for getting decently smashed and having a good time. It was initally just us girls going. The guys all had other plans. But in the end they came along, and the 10 of us headed into the city...destination - Melbourne Lions. We met two of Emily's friends there and the bunch of us just partied the night away.

I didn't actually think we'd have as much fun at a bar than at a club. Oh was i wrong. We got there close to midnight, so we all got going on the drinking. The bartender even made specialised drinks for us...downside? Not knowing what they were called and now probably not going to get it again *sigh*. There was also a dance floor, one that i was unaware of until a good half hour after we'd gotten there. The music was okay at the beginning of the night, but got SOO much better towards the end.

All in all it was an amazing night! We got to know each other so much better. Some people were very happy that they decided to come, and i was glad they did. Mission for the night accomplished!! And WAYY better than i expected!

Us - notice the guys in standing in height order...pure coincidence!

Alya & I - abit the excited
Act cute konon!

Ems not really keen on taking a drink of electric blue stuff

Ems & I

At the end of the night


Last week was probably one of the worst i've had since returning to uni. You could say i brought it upon myself. But i had reached that point where i was simply tired...emotionally, mentally and physically. I knew that i had to do something about it. And with a little help from my person here, i did just that. I was warned it was going to hurt, i even knew it. I knew the answers that my questions would bring out, but knowing and hearing are two different things. I learnt one matter how much you prepare yourself, it's never what you expected.

I never expected any of this to happen, i didn't want this. All i wanted was to go home and bask in the comfort of being around people who knew me, inside and out. I don't regret the things that i've experienced, everything happens for a reason after all. But i do wish that everything would just solve itself now.

I really didn't go out looking for something to happen. It just did. That's how things are sometimes. You can't stop the feelings that suddenly flood in. Especially when you refuse to admit to having them and having others point it out to you first. I know that we're friends, and i'm glad we are, but it doesnt change the fact that you know i like you. Or the fact that you already know this. I don't know whether you realise what you say and what it may mean or if you're just teasing me. I blame myself more than I blame you, because at the end of the day, I can't force you to have the same feelings. But that doesn't mean you can't be upfront with me...the answers you've always given are all so vague. You tell other people something different to what you tell me.

You know what hurts even more? The fact that you can even think that the things that i've done or said have all come from the part of me that likes you. Remember one thing, i'm your friend first and foremost. All the things that we've talked, laughed, taken the piss out of are all from the part of me thats your friend. And you can't even approach any of this seriously. The one intense conversation we had scared me because for once you weren't joking or forcing humour into the convo.

I don't know how long it will take for us to be ok. I need to cut you out, thats the only way i can get over this. You didn't want anything to change, but don't you see that's easier for you? I put my heart out on the line and you just laughed it off. I love you as my friend, but i just need my space now.

We learnt yesterday that tears have a certain chemical in them, it's absorbed and acts as a sedative. At least i know that i'll get some sleep from that.