Because you're not here..

When I need you, you're not here. But it's not your fault. I know how much you want to be here. You know how much I need you here with me. I miss you so much its unbelievable. Because you're not here, this is the only way I can let it all out. There isn't anyone here who compares to you.

I've never felt so much pain. Honestly. But what did I expect right? I mean really, at the back of my mind, I knew it would end this way. So why am I still so upset? Why can't I stop crying? Why can't I think of anything else?

I thought I'd be ok, I thought I'd already prepared myself for this. So why is it so much worse? Maybe because finally it's officially over. Maybe because even the slightest hope is now gone. Maybe because I now realise that I've been lying to myself all this time. Allowing myself to believe things that really weren't there. Letting myself fall into that stupid well of hope. Telling myself that 'maybe one day...' when really one day never existed in the first place. But honestly, I don't know.

I need you here to tell me why this is all happening. I need you to sit and comfort me. I need you to just be that person I always turn to when anything happens. Simply, I just need you here with me. There are other people around, people who I'm thankful for. But they don't know me like you do. They aren't you.

Come back soon. Come back so I have you in my life again. Come back so in times like this I have you near. Come back so I have someone to cry with, someone to give me a hug, to lie down with me for hours doing nothing but taking in the comfort that you're next to me. But most importantly, come back so you can make me laugh and smile, bring back the me that you know. Because right now, I don't know where she is.

I miss you.

A little birthday wish

Ok so I know technically, its the next day. But the internet messed up yesterday, so I can only do this now.

On the 14th November, my love turned a year older. Yes, you got that right. This post is dedicated to that one amazing individual we all know as Rosa Martorana! Rosa, my darling, HAPPYYY BIRTHDAYYY!!! I know you aren't as old as the rest of us, but you did turn a WHOLE year older.


I'm so sorry I wasn't there to celebrate with you! But I'm sure you had a ball, maybe not as fantastic had i been there, but a ball nonetheless.

I just wanted to say thank you for being there for me when I needed you. Even from all the way over here. And yes, distance does SUCK big time! Despite that, I still got to wish you twice, although one was more of a wake up call. That by the way, was not my fault, Eb wanted to wish you. We've only been friends a few months, and yet I feel closer to you compared to others. And can I just add....we are AMAZING at keeping in touch! Well, for our first week apart anyway, but that's still something.

So, have an amazing summer (I'm secretly hoping you aren't going to Malaysia next semester) and an incredibulous year ahead!! I miss you more than you can imagine! AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER!!

*HUGGIEEE*

A Quick One

Because I've been harassed by some people, I'm now updating my blog. But seriously, nothing's been happening. HONEST!

But anyway, just to update people. Been out a few times with the gang. We went to this new cafe, Casa Cafe, twice now, because Eb loves the place. I'm getting acquired. I haven't had hummus or shisha yet. I know. My plans for the holidays are sooo burned. But I've only been back a few days. I think I'll go do both tomorrow. Yes, THATS THE PLAN! Eb and I went to Shu yesterday for a quick dinner. Arabic Food! YUM! It was nice to finally be able to chill with him alone. Don't get me wrong, I love everyone else, but it was nice to be able to properly catch up and chit chat about things that can't be said in front of everyone else. You guys get it.

Yesterday, mummy and us girls went to the tailors to get our clothes made for the wedding in Goa (T-5 days btw!). Kak Diah & I also went for a morning coffee. It's been too long since we'd done that. We celebrated her first day free from the 'clutches of evil'!

Today we're going to Kak Rayne's place, just to chill. I AM IN LOVE WITH BABY YAYA! OMG! She truly is the CUTEST baby in the world. If we get back early enough, I may go with Tony and the rest to Central Perk. And I REALLY need to see Syeila! I've been cancelling! Not on purpose. We were meant to go out yesterday, but then turns out Eb had the car and my sister needed ours. But Syeila love, tonight or tomorrow! I PROMISE!

Oh, also, there aren't going to be pictures for awhile, since my camera has decided to die on me, and I'm in the process of getting a new one. So in the meantime, live with my beeyouuteeful words instead. LOL.

OH OH! GOOD LUCK TO ROSA FOR HER FINAL PAPER!
*And a quick congrats to Desmond & Ems for finally finishing their exams!*

Nothing beats the feeling

After 15 hours on my ass, entertained by a jolly lolly-giving English man, I finally arrived in Dubai. My light at the end of the tunnel for the past 10 months. It is soo warm. I do appreciate not haivng to wear a jacket everywhere, but it is also nice if there wasn't 300% humidity!!!

BUT! Nothing beats the feeling of being home. My house, my room, my bathroom...everything. I even managed to sneak in a drive although that was a bit risky doing that after having not slept for close to 30 hours.

I did manage to meet up with Silvia and EB. Sil screamed, EB figured it out mostly. But it was all worth it. Met a few more people today, awesome people. So had an AMAZING first day and night back. Can't wait for more!!