so far...

Here's the update so far...
Still totally jetlagged, and on Melbourne time. I've been sleeping at 9pm and waking up at 5 or 6. Not the greatest thing in the world. Yesterday I managed to stay up until 12midnight. GO ME! Got back. Didnt sleep till the nighttime..trying to force my body into adjusting..obviously didn't work. Went to surprise Cowkies (she thought I was only getting back in two weeks), she basically jumped on me and was screaming her head off. Hehe. It's nice to know I was missed and am still loved.

The next couple of days..just chilled with the rents.

Yesterday, went to MOE to watch a movie with N and W. N had to leave, so W and I stayed back and talked. We still couldn't believe that we were sitting across from each other and within touching distance. Talked and had coffee for 2 hours or so. Then dropped me off at home. It was sooo AMAZING seeing N and W. Missed them!!!

THis morning, took a walk along the beach with mum. SO nice to see the beach again. So blue and clear. Walked by the water..sooo cooling when I got splashed. Can't wait to chill there properly. Drove home and planted a few of the plants we bought...to put on the balcony. Now its all pimped out. LOL.

Plan for today: May go and have a chillout sesh with Cowkies if not will go chill with rents outside somewhere.

OVer and out.

Home....

The time has finally come..I arrived back in Dubai today at 5:30am. After a gruelling 14 hours on a plane and a 2 hour layover...the plane landed and my excitement climaxed. It hadn't really sunk in that I was returning home after so long..but once I saw the lights, it was hard not to squeal with happiness (that might've gotten a number of reactions from the people around me).

Reached my parents and literally jumped them. It was amazing to see them again. Got home. Jumped on my sisters while they were sleeping. Thank god no one got a heart attack. Went for breakfast and now sitting waiting for dinner...to surprise a special person who got a little pissed yesterday night especially after hearing I was only going to be back in two weeks. Oh, the love.

The last couple of days at uni were amazing but sad too. After the first one left, they started dropping like flies; with the last having the most effect on me. To that certain someone: though it was short, it was the best. You reminded me of my life before uni, of my friends, of the closeness between friends that I was used to but was deprived of at uni. Thank you for giving me the best months of the end of my first year. I'll miss you.

The last night I spent with a group of people at uni turned out to be quite amazing. Was very happy at the end of the night. For those leaving us this sem: - I'll miss you. For the rest of you: - here's to a great 2008!!

Brett, Alya n I

Mike n I

Dean and I

Having a 'kit kat'

Today it all starts, the mid-sem break. Not that great. Waiting for phone calls is frustrating and depressing. I want it to ring but I don't at the same time. Curiosity is willing it to ring, but dread boils up inside me at the news that the call may bring. All my things are packed ready to leave at any moment. Going to my aunt's soon and the waiting shall continue there.

Confusion

one more day and its mid-semester break. God knows some of us need this. but the joy is short-lived..assignments due soon after our return and not to forget the impending finals. those always make a break seem sooo fulfilling.

wat do we do when there are things in life we can't decide upon? if the ability to make decisions fail us? do we take the easy out? wat do we do in a situation where we have to be the bad guy even agaisnt our will?

we wait it out. isn't that the cowardly way? so am i mean to be the bad guy? i dont want to be that person. but it seems i have no choice. you've left me with no chice. don't you see this can't go anywhere. i love you always but this can't happen. not again. i can't let my heart be broken again. the promises you speak have almost no meaning to me. i've heard them before, and they've failed me before.

how do i fix this? i need to know...it can't go on like this forever

Soon soon...

two months to go. it may seem like ages away..but its reallyyy not! hehe. which is GOOD!
catching up recently with friends who are also going back at the same time. MISs them sooo much! especially one. u know who u are. we'll go prancing around before everyone else gets back! hehe

weather update - still no spring. if anything, gets colder by the day. as if we were back in july. seriously. today more rain.

last week we celebrated birthdays. it was a good week. planning and planning paid off. saw the smile, the glee. all worthwhile. HAPPY BIRTHDAY guys! it was a good week to lead into ramadan.
happy birthday miss quak!

RAMADAN KAREEM to everyone!

Hope you guys have an amazing month. I'm trying to be a better person, its been hard, family not here..times like these is when we realise how much we should cherish everything. May we all be blessed for the things we do this month, and forgiven for the sins we partake in.
Bateel dates - the one thing keeping me in touch with home...and they do it deliciously.

Things aren't as they're meant to be. Friendships this semester have strengthened, but at the same time, disappointments are always around. And so close. Can't do anything, and really don't have the will to. SOmetimes, we just need to let things be...this is one of those times.

An advanced birthday wish to my lil sis who turns 17 this year! don't grow up so fast k.

an update...

this has probably been the longest break so far.
wasnt too keen on getting back on this. but figured it could act as my little diary. let a little bit of stress out. so updates! am in melbourne now, studying nutrition and dietetics. wasn't my first choice, but its been quite good so far. the weather is EASING into spring although tonight, rain has decided to bestow itself upon us. i'm living at the halls of residence, ROBERTS HALL! its not too bad. not qutie what i imagined at first but have met quite amazing people who've helped me through alot.

visited the family back in july. one month...not too long. but sufficient to help with my struggle here. i've settled in now. but at the beginning, i had alot of trouble just getting used to the whole idea of university. the first couple of weeks, the amount of pain i felt was like never before. it felt like someone was taking my heart and ripping it to shreds. the fact that i was completely alone didnt help. parry-love was close by but not enough to be comforted. i wanted someone just to hug and hold. that's also another thing that was hard, the people i made friends don't practice just comforting in their culture. and i too am part of that culture. but growing up internationally opens up your mind. i missed all my friend back home...just because when i cried i wanted someone to hug. but nothing.

talking to the parents didn't help too much. just hearing their voices..it pulled me back to the life that i'm used to. especially with my mum. we grew closer during the break that i had. it was the hardest to let go of her at the airport. i felt like i was abandoning her. this realisation hit a number of times when i was alone. what kind of a daughter am i? leaving my family behind? my mum? she would tell me that she's lonely. and i just felt like i left her. what if something happened? what was the alst thing i said to her? do i even remember?

the pain of being left behind by a loved one is hard, being that person who left crushes the heart..
i love you mum. and the rest of the family back in the desert!