Monday, September 03, 2007

an update...

this has probably been the longest break so far.
wasnt too keen on getting back on this. but figured it could act as my little diary. let a little bit of stress out. so updates! am in melbourne now, studying nutrition and dietetics. wasn't my first choice, but its been quite good so far. the weather is EASING into spring although tonight, rain has decided to bestow itself upon us. i'm living at the halls of residence, ROBERTS HALL! its not too bad. not qutie what i imagined at first but have met quite amazing people who've helped me through alot.

visited the family back in july. one month...not too long. but sufficient to help with my struggle here. i've settled in now. but at the beginning, i had alot of trouble just getting used to the whole idea of university. the first couple of weeks, the amount of pain i felt was like never before. it felt like someone was taking my heart and ripping it to shreds. the fact that i was completely alone didnt help. parry-love was close by but not enough to be comforted. i wanted someone just to hug and hold. that's also another thing that was hard, the people i made friends don't practice just comforting in their culture. and i too am part of that culture. but growing up internationally opens up your mind. i missed all my friend back home...just because when i cried i wanted someone to hug. but nothing.

talking to the parents didn't help too much. just hearing their voices..it pulled me back to the life that i'm used to. especially with my mum. we grew closer during the break that i had. it was the hardest to let go of her at the airport. i felt like i was abandoning her. this realisation hit a number of times when i was alone. what kind of a daughter am i? leaving my family behind? my mum? she would tell me that she's lonely. and i just felt like i left her. what if something happened? what was the alst thing i said to her? do i even remember?

the pain of being left behind by a loved one is hard, being that person who left crushes the heart..
i love you mum. and the rest of the family back in the desert!

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